I am - and - I was/ I feel - and yet - I lost/ I am - in deep/
and yet I float/ In debt and yet/
- I hope..
slay me gently...intriguing that you go from not letting life murder you to willingly being slayed...
No one slays, even metaphorically, with their eyes closed. Slaying someone always is with intent Darlin' never by accident. j you do have great talent at provoking a "from the gut" response or feeling with your short line free verse and I love it.
You got the guts to be slayed...Nice attempt at 160..Join us to be a part of it!!!http://umaspoembook.blogspot.com/2011/01/experimenting-with-poetry-forms_16.html
Let us not beMurderedBy reality...killing line, how divine.love your 160.A++
wow! wow! feels good to read this! thank you for sharing.. here's my potluck.. http://fiveloaf.wordpress.com/2010/06/19/my-whole-world/
Have to agree with Jingle on the winning line! Very good :)
Slay Misty for me!Beautiful!J
"Killing me softy with his song..."A nice grouping!
Mindful and thoughtful words!
Amazing...the last two stanzas are brilliant... :)
Generally people slay with an open eyes. We know everything but still we do what causes pain.******** I like rhythm and musical tone of this verse.