Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Another shot I guess..

I have not yet forgotten
how rude the birds could be
singing songs of ecstasy
that had nothing to do with me

I have not yet looked closer
for the vivid bloom in me
for have not come across
a single eligible bee

early I go to my grave
I have not yet been saved
for my knight in shining armour
Its me you come to slay

My shot for 'one shot wednesday' a great platform for poets


  1. Ouch! Cutting ending. Indeed, "birds" can be quite rude sometimes and don't always look closely at what some people have to offer. There's a flow of emotion in the lines illustrating dejection. Well written stanzas, budhaah

  2. Good one-shot. I quite like rhyming couplets, maybe that's because I can't do anything else.

  3. Thank you Dustus :) Yeah the birds go about their happy business of chirping as usual..

    Thanks :)

  4. Knights in shining armor ain't what they used to be. Nice One Shot!

  5. I feel the same way about most birds. This is thoughtfully whimsical.

  6. When we are not receptive to good energy, those birds go on chirping and singing..

    This is a beautiful poem.. light ..I like it!!

  7. its me you come to slay...ouch...i do hope not...

  8. Eric, they are not what they used to be. Either they dont have time..I maybe could have ended it like this-
    'for my knight in shining armour
    does not have time for me'

    Hey MM, I love the bird songs but there are times..

    Lynne, The birds dont really care going about their happy business :)

    Brian, hmmm..well at least I can die by his hand if not in his arms :)

  9. What I got out of this was: "love hurts".
    Awesome piece!

  10. Deb,

    Hey thanks. Love hurts a lot indeed..

  11. All armor shines because they have a slave or a page to shine the shit up for them. Just because some fool is a knight and wears shiny shit doesn't mean he is better at war than you 'less you allow it be so.

    You're Made in Detroit now kiddo and we fight til one or the other is dead but we never just roll the hell over.

  12. Mark,

    Yayy! I sure am made in Detroit now and that does make me a tough cookie eh? :)

  13. I don't trust guys who wear that much armor--I mean, it sort of says "Make war, not love?" yes? Really liked your ironic little poem of slightly aggravated resignation. (At least that's my read.)

  14. नए साल पर हार्दिक शुभकामना .. आपकी पोस्ट बेहद पसंद आई ..आज (31-12-2010) चर्चामंच पर आपकी यह रचना है .. पुनः नववर्ष पर मेरा हार्दिक अभिनन्दन और मंगलकामनाएं |

  15. Beautiful imagination friend...
    Loved reading it..

  16. Nice twisty tone at the end. Good work.