Tuesday, March 3, 2009

No good..

1)

lying alone in the dark
your promises come back to me
outside its all black/dark
Inside - no good, no good, no good..


2)

Gone - with the wind
like a smile
like a tear
that dies inside

5 comments:

  1. Gone with the wind
    a smile before it has a
    chance to break out
    a tear that
    dies before it's shed.


    Sorry budh.aaah couldn't help myself.

    ReplyDelete
  2. In any case its interesting - not wrong..so no sorry between friends.

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  3. I am not a fan of the repetition you've used here "no good no good no good". But, I like the underlying message very much.

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  4. Brosreview, Thank you for visiting and leaving a comment on my blog. I appreciate it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I like the "no good" repetition here because it is repeated once for each line. That it is used at the end, to me seems a sharper point than putting one at the end of each line.

    ReplyDelete