...

She wanted some water before she went to the corner store and he had flatly refused her and told me as well not to give her any.


I just had to ask him what was more important for him - a child who is well and alive or a dead, but disciplined child. He shook his head as I gave the kid a few sips.


Every little thing becomes a big power struggle and I wonder why it has to.


He btw is apologetic and whereas he had threatened the kid yesterday that 'all will die today', I guess thinking about the repurcussions the beating would cause (knowing how upset I would be), but he changed his tune by the time we reached the house and was very apologetic. Though his being 'very apologetic' translates to just one sentence where he said he will never do it again, and shaking his head..
( Ah well folks, bad computer -keeps hanging after every 2 minutes so lost the earlier one that I'd written, and feeling too tired to write it all over again)

yet again..

Stepped out for some time. Had to attend a prayer meeting and at the end of it called him up to come with the kid so that they could be there too.

The kid came with a puffed red face and I was alarmed but still (hope against hope for things to be normal) asked her if she'd been running around in this heat too much. Her eyes filled with tears and she said that he'd hit her - yet again- while studying as well as grabbed her neck threateningly, just because she's not exactly the Einstein he wants her to be.

She is but a small child who wants to be free..

:(

The kid fell down last night..from the bed.

I have'nt slept -or so it seems- since the kid was born. As soon as she tosses and turns my eyes pop open on their own. So when I heard a loud thud yester night - I immediately sat up and said ' oh my God my baby has fallen from the bed. There was a net all around so that kinda breaks the fall, but really a fall when one is fast asleep will even shake an elder up and she's but a kid.

But he gets up at the commotion and guess what he has to say..'bloody bitch, cant even sleep right'..

I mean what is this? Could someone please make his kind of reactions clear to me. Why or how on earth can he swear at the kid when all she needs at the time is a helping hand to yank her up, then check for the 'boo-boo's if any and then kiss it better for her. Thats not too much to ask.

I dont know everyday I get nearer to the resolution I'd made last year. Oh please dont laugh - yes that was last year, and if I say this then that means I am moving pretty fast now. Otherwise taking any decision takes forever - like a lifetime..

Sun sign Libra, moonsign Capri..Typical Libran trait - so there, now I can easily wash my hands off the ugly indecisive me.

Its been a :( day.. hope to smile tomorrow.